For many men entering into a relationship can bring excessive worries, anxieties and pressures. A great number of men harbour secret fears that their partner may leave or abandon them. Such fear of abandonment is not only a horrible experience for those enduring it but it can become toxic to the relationship leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy whereby their partner does eventually leave them. Fortunately, OyeHelp psychologist counsellor are here to explain ways to reduce such fears:
Find out why you are afraid
A fear of abandonment can stem from many sources. Typically a fear of abandonment begins in childhood when a primary caregiver (usually the mother or father) is distant, neglectful or unresponsive to their children’s needs. It can also be triggered due to former experiences in relationships where a partner may have been unfaithful, abusive or broken up with their partner out of the blue. It can also be connected to a low sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Sometimes men may feel that they are inadequate physically, emotionally, mentally or financially.
Getting to the bottom of your fear of abandonment is the first step as the reasons vary from man to man. Speaking with an OyeHelp psychologist counselling can provide confidential, discreet and professional advice which assists with unearthing the origin of such anxieties and helps men implement strategies to ease their anxiety and help them feel happier in their relationships.
Speak to your partner
Often men can be reluctant to address such anxieties. The idea of talking to their partners about their concerns can leave men feeling embarrassed or insecure. In a truly loving partnership, sharing your concerns with your partner can be incredibly helpful and reassuring. When your partner understands what you are feeling and experiencing, they will be better able to support your process of growth.
Understand that fear is not reality
A common acronym that has come to stand in for fear is ‘false evidence appearing real.’ In this situation, just because a man is afraid that his partner will leave him, it doesn’t mean that she will. Often when a person acts out of fear, they attract the very thing they are anxious about. They can literally drive their partner away with their fear if they let it take over. Understanding the consequences of such fear is a key way of ensuring that you get it under control before it sabotages your relationship and ultimately destroys it.
Work on your self-esteem
If you can’t see what’s good about yourself, it will be hard for your partner to. Work on your self-esteem independently from your partner. This might entail working out, eating healthily, meditating or seeking the professional advice of a psychologist counselor. You can also work on your self-esteem within the relationship. Focus on building a strong relationship with your partner that involves mutual respect, appreciation and gratitude. By mixing all of these steps together, you will create a strong foundation within yourself that will enable you to weather any storm and help you to enjoy your relationships without paralyzing them with fear.