Couples who are faced with the task of working to save their relationship, face an incredible challenge. Marriage problems are understandably difficult to solve, and after many years of being together couples sometimes find that their relationship has ended up in knots. These knots can only be untangled through genuine effort. Only genuine effort can lead to positive change, so it is important not to easily give up hope with those that you love.
Communication Is Key
Statistics on divorce suggest that many factors can effect a decision to break up, some are social while others are economic. One factor underlies all of these, and seems to point to a universal component of a successful and happy relationship; communication is key. Couples who communicate are far more likely to live a happy married life that lasts long, and so open communication is considered the foundation for saving your marriage.
Only through open communication will you be able to find out what went wrong, and how you can work together to resolve it. You need to communicate from your heart. Tell your partner how you really feel, and be straight with them about what you think is missing. Ask them to speak to you in a similar manner, expressing their own feelings.
Instead of waiting for your partner to approach you, or worse and more common still, waiting for an explosive argument and then expressing yourself in a non-constructive and aggressive manner, sit down your partner and talk.
Find Out What Went Wrong
A marriage is a union between two individuals, and therefore every marriage is different, and each relationship has its own share of ups and downs. Introspection and understanding are two key traits that you will need, to find out what went wrong. You need to look back at the good times, and also think about the chain of events (if they can be enumerated) that lead to the damage in your marriage. Did you start arguing? Why was this the case? Was there lack of communication, or a clash in lifestyles or views that caused friction? What about the physical and intimate aspects of the relationships? What do you and your partner actual feel about each other?
Don’t Play The Blame Game
During this process it is important to never play blame games. If all you want to do is point a finger at your partner, then be rest assured that nothing will ever get resolved. Similarly, if you bear the full guilt of all the problems then you will not be able to appropriately respond to your partner’s needs. Allow yourself, and your partner, the opportunity to work together as a team. Without blaming each other you can really begin to make constructive changes in your relationship.
A great starting point for this, is to take a look at what you could be doing wrong to harm the marriage. Then, ask yourself how you could do this differently in order to save it. The change should come from within and your partner is likely to respond to your efforts.
Work To Resolve Your Problems
Communication in itself seems to relieve a lot of the tension caused through the lack of it; but this is only the beginning. Positive action should follow. Once you have identified your own needs, and the needs of your partner, you now have to work towards saving your marriage. If you want it bad enough, and your partner does too, then you can definitely save your marriage. Love is a doing word, and you have to learn to be responsive to both your partner’s needs, and your own. Get to know your partner all over again.
Sometimes it can be difficult to communicate with your partner at first, and it can seem like your marriage problems are still left unresolved. In such cases, It always helps to talk to a friend or family member; someone who is outside of the direct situation, who can offer an unbiased perspective. While loved ones are great to talk to, marriage counseling can help to save your marriage, by providing a neutral party; an expert who is trained in relationship and marriage counseling, and who can facilitate the communication between you.
If you need advice or marriage counseling, then please speak to our experts, who can work with you to understand your individual circumstances. They can offer full advice and mediation services.